This is our first guest post from a woman’s perspective, and I’m honored to share Tomoko’s story. At 58, she’s navigated five years of breast cancer treatment with the kind of honesty and grace that embodies what this community is about. She’s a friend, a student, and someone whose courage I deeply admire. Her voice adds an important perspective to our conversations about life after 50.
Table of Contents
In Tomoko’s Words
There were no signs. No lumps, no pain, nothing that made me think “cancer.” Just a routine screening that showed calcification, leading to ten years of annual check-ups where doctors said, “Probably nothing, but let’s keep watching.”
Then, at 52, watching became reality. Breast cancer. The slow-growing kind that had been quietly spreading for a decade—8mm invasive, 6.5cm non-invasive. Numbers that suddenly defined everything.
I want to tell you about the fear first, because that’s what no one prepares you for. Not the technical details or treatment plans, but the pure terror that takes over your body when you hear those words. My father died of colon cancer when I was in my twenties, and those memories came flooding back. I couldn’t stop crying. Not just for what might happen, but for what I was about to lose—my sense of my own body, my illusion of control, my comfortable assumption that I had time.
The Timing of Everything
My surgery was scheduled for March 2020. Yes, that March. While the world was shutting down, I was losing my job in tourism and facing surgery during a pandemic. I couldn’t see friends. I searched online for patient support groups, but everything was cancelled. The isolation was crushing.
What I learned: timing is never convenient for cancer, and sometimes it’s spectacularly bad. But you adapt because you have to.
My mother became my anchor. She thought about me constantly, supported me through every appointment, every fear. My friends? They were more worried about COVID than about me. I don’t blame them—it was a terrifying time for everyone. But it taught me something about who shows up when things get real.
Have you ever faced a major health crisis during an already difficult time? How did you cope with multiple challenges at once?
The Surprises
Thirty rounds of radiation therapy. I hadn’t expected that number. The cost was staggering. Now I’m on hormone therapy for ten years total. Every day, a reminder that this isn’t over.
Six months after surgery, they found suspicious cells in my other breast. Another biopsy. The year after that, possible recurrence in the surgical site. Another biopsy. Then another. Four biopsies in five years. Each one a fresh hell of waiting, hoping, bargaining with time.
Before my first surgery, the doctor told me he didn’t know if he’d need to remove my nipple. I went under anesthesia with no idea what I’d wake up to. (I kept it, thankfully, but imagine going to sleep not knowing what your body will look like when you wake up.)
What Changes
Having breast cancer at 52 taught me something I’d known in my head but never in my gut: nothing in life is guaranteed. I might die in a few years. I might live another forty. Both possibilities feel equally real now.
Before cancer, I lived as if I was immortal. We all do this, don’t we? We plan for distant futures, postpone joy, tolerate situations and people that drain us. Cancer stripped away that luxury of assumed time.
Now I go where I want to go. I eat what I want to eat. I spend time with people I enjoy and avoid those I don’t. This isn’t selfishness—it’s clarity. When you truly understand that your time is finite, you stop wasting it.
Has facing mortality—yours or someone close to you—changed how you spend your time? What did you stop tolerating?
The Long View
Here’s what they don’t tell you about breast cancer “survival”: it’s not survival—it’s management. Even five years out, even ten years out, recurrence and metastasis remain possibilities. If it metastasizes, there’s no cure. This is my reality now—living with uncertainty, finding peace within vigilance.
The patient support group I eventually found online saved me. Connecting with women going through the same journey reminded me I wasn’t alone. We share the dark humor, the small victories, the real talk about what this experience does to your soul.
What I Want You to Know
If you’re over 50 and reading this, please get screened. Tests are unpleasant—I know. But early detection means less treatment. I had no family history, no risk factors beyond being a woman. It can happen to anyone.
If you’re facing this diagnosis, find your people. The ones who will think about you constantly, who will show up, who understand that sometimes you need to talk about death and sometimes you need to laugh about ridiculous medical procedures.
Most importantly: health isn’t guaranteed. It doesn’t last forever. But neither does fear, and neither does treatment. What lasts is how you choose to live with what you’re given.
I’m still here. Still uncertain about the future, still grateful for each day that doesn’t include a medical appointment. Still learning to live with the knowledge that came with cancer—that nothing is forever, including this moment, so it’s worth paying attention to.
Tomoko’s honesty about living with uncertainty while still finding gratitude resonates deeply with me. Her story reminds us that life’s fragility isn’t something to fear—it’s something that clarifies what matters.
Recommended Resource for Breast Cancer Support:
If you are navigating life after a breast cancer diagnosis and seeking a supportive community, Tomoko’s advice to “find your people” is key. The American Cancer Society’s Cancer Survivors Network (CSN) provides a free, safe online space to connect with others who truly understand the experience.
[Visit the Cancer Survivors Network (CSN) at cancer.org/support]
[See also breastcancer.org]
What resonates with you about Tomoko’s journey? How has your own experience with health challenges or uncertainty changed your views on time and priorities?
Share your thoughts below.
