Lately, I’ve been noticing how often we talk about being busy as if it’s a measure of worth. As if rest is something that needs explaining, and quiet time gets treated as optional. This isn’t a critique or a solution. It’s just an observation about how we seem to relate to time, productivity, and the subtle pressure we might feel to always be “on.”
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The Morning Walk That Got Me Thinking
On my days off, I walk to 7-Eleven early in the morning for coffee and groceries. Even if I’ve only slept three hours, I look forward to it: the fresh air, the privacy of the dark or early morning calm, and the feeling of starting my day with something simple and good before settling in to write at the computer.
I got back home this morning and caught myself doing something familiar: already calculating how much time I had before I “should” start being productive. Like even this walk, something I genuinely value, needed to be justified as time well spent rather than time wasted.
It made me wonder: when did we all start measuring our worth by how packed our schedules are?
I’m not complaining, just noticing. It’s a pattern I see in myself sometimes, in my students, in how people talk about their weekends. Thought it might be worth exploring.
Have you noticed this too – treating being busy like some kind of achievement?
How We Talk About Time
There’s this thing people do when they talk about their weekends: “Did you do anything fun?” Always about doing, achieving, having something to show for the time.
I see it with my students who study until they can barely think, convinced that rest means they’re not trying hard enough. One student mentioned feeling guilty about taking a Sunday afternoon nap, as if she was letting herself down somehow.
I respect people with goals and ambitions who are working hard toward something that matters to them. That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s more about this feeling that if you’re not constantly busy, you’re somehow not measuring up.
Even for me – on days when I’m writing at the computer, genuinely enjoying it – part of my brain starts questioning: should I be doing something that earns money instead? Something I could mention to people when they ask what I’ve been up to?
Where does that voice come from?
Do you ever catch yourself feeling like you should be doing more?
The Interesting Contradiction
Those quiet morning walks mean more to me than a lot of the “productive” things I do. They’re when I feel most like myself – not performing any particular role, just existing.
But I still treat them like they’re optional. Like they’re something I fit in around the “real” work rather than something worth protecting.
It’s not just me. I’ve noticed my retired neighbors have something different, this ease about them. They’re not rushing anywhere. They tend gardens, read books, have actual conversations. They’re not performing for anyone.
Makes you think about what we’re all running toward. Or maybe what we’re running from.
What Happens When We’re Always On
I’ve been paying attention to how being constantly busy affects things.
When I’m balanced, like after a morning of farming and then some time to write, everything feels easier. Even my evening gaming sessions are more relaxed, more enjoyable. But when I’m already mentally tired from too much going on, the same activities that usually help me unwind can actually make me feel more stressed.
It’s like our usual ways of relaxing stop working when we’re already worn out. Gaming becomes frustrating instead of fun. Scrolling social media makes us feel worse instead of better. Watching TV leaves us more agitated instead of calmer.
Not earth-shattering stuff, just things worth paying attention to.
Do your usual stress-relief activities ever backfire?
The Things That Actually Help
What I’ve noticed works for keeping balanced (at least for me):
Having something physical to do that serves a purpose. The farming isn’t just exercise, it’s productive, has visible results, and uses different muscle groups. Keeps me grounded and balances my blogging passion.
Protecting transitions between activities. That slow walk to 7-Eleven after work, before settling in at the computer. Not rushing from one thing straight into the next.
Time alone that has a point to it. Not just isolation, but solitude with a purpose. Those genuine moments when you’re doing something that restores you rather than just filling time.
Knowing I have unscheduled time coming. It’s hard to relax into an evening if you’re already worried about tomorrow’s schedule.
These are personal. What works for someone else might be completely different. The point is just noticing what actually recharges you versus what you think should recharge you. I wrote more about this in What Does Your Ideal Reset Day Look Like?, but it comes down to paying attention to what really works for you versus what you hope works.
What helps you feel centered when life gets hectic?
The Guilt Thing
This might seem weird: feeling guilty for resting when you’ve already done enough for the day.
Not everyone experiences this. Some people are great at switching off when they’re done. But I’ve noticed it in myself and others, a sense that if you’re not constantly doing something, you’re somehow being lazy with your time.
Even though intellectually we know rest is necessary. Even though we’d tell anyone else they deserve time to recharge. When it comes to ourselves, we change the rules.
It might be worth questioning where that comes from.
Do you ever feel guilty for resting, even when you’ve done what needed doing?
What I’m Curious About
This isn’t about judging anyone’s choices. Some people genuinely thrive on packed schedules. Some seasons of life demand more than others. It’s commendable to work hard toward something that matters.
I’ve been noticing a pattern where we treat being busy like an achievement and rest like something to apologize for.
Have you noticed it too? In yourself, in people around you, in how we all talk about time?
And if you have noticed it, what helps you keep things balanced? What reminds you to protect the simple things that actually restore you rather than just filling every minute with something productive?
I’m not looking for the “right” answer. I’m curious what you have thought about your own relationship with being busy versus being still, and has that changed as you’ve gotten older?
Share your thoughts below – if you’re not too busy.
