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When We Question Whether We Still Matter
We all have days when we wonder if anything we do really matters—when everything feels flat and gray, when bigger accomplishments seem out of reach, when we wonder if we still matter in ways that count.
But small wins, those quiet moments that make us genuinely smile, turn out to be essential fuel. A student’s breakthrough. A vegetable harvested from your garden. A stranger’s appreciative nod. These aren’t runner-up medals for missing out on the big stuff—they’re proof we’re still alive and kicking, still making a difference, still here.
Let’s be honest about why these moments matter, especially as we age, and why celebrating them isn’t settling for less.
What small win has actually brightened your week recently?
Why This Isn’t Just Feel-Good Talk
Small wins hit harder than you’d expect. Research backs this up, but honestly, most of us already know it from experience: these little victories actually improve our mood and help us handle stress better as we get older.
Guiding a student to understanding. Fixing something broken with your own hands. Pushing through a particularly tough day without giving up. These moments remind us we’re not sitting on the bench watching—we’re in the game.
Studies have found that older adults who set daily goals—whether for learning or physical movement—handle stress better. Not by achieving massive milestones, but through consistent small accomplishments that build on each other over time.
The 562 consecutive mornings I’ve spent stumbling through Japanese on Duolingo? Just five minutes daily, but it builds something worthy. Not fluency (nowhere close), but proof that I’m still learning, still showing up, still capable of growth.
What small daily habit has surprised you with how much it adds up over time?
When Small Wins Reveal Something Larger
Last week, a student in Japan showed up to my English class just two days after his mother passed away. He needed to talk—about her body still being at home (a Japanese custom), about an out-of-body experience from years before. He shed tears. We got through the conversation gently.
His firm handshake at the end communicated everything: gratitude for the space, relief at being heard, connection in a moment of isolation.
That wasn’t a small win in the trivial sense. It was a small win in the profound sense—evidence that showing up, being present, offering what we can offer in the moment we’re given—this matters. This is work worth doing, whether or not it comes with a fancy title or good money.
Even gaming provides these meaningful moments. Playing Apex Legends at this age, I’m far from professional. But rescuing a teammate from trouble brings satisfaction that rivals landing the perfect shot. There’s something profound about knowing you’ve helped to brighten someone’s day, whether they’re across town or across oceans.
When has a small act of showing up felt surprisingly significant?
The Freedom of Savoring Without Qualifying
Here’s a pattern I’ve noticed in myself and others: we experience something good, then immediately talk ourselves out of it.
“That was nice, but what about tomorrow’s problems?” “I’m pleased with this, but I really should be further along by now.” “This feels good, but it won’t last.”
We add ‘buts’ to our happiness, slap conditions on feeling good, refuse to fully inhabit positive moments because we’re already bracing for the next challenge.
But what if we didn’t? What if we let the perfect cup of coffee, the completed crossword puzzle, the satisfying harvest from the garden, the student’s grateful handshake—what if we let these moments be fully what they are without diminishing them with future-focused anxiety?
Fear of tomorrow is often just that—fear, not fact. An illusion that may never happen the way we imagine. Each time we choose to fully experience satisfaction without immediately undermining it, we’re being kinder to ourselves and actually staying in the moment.
The small win gets bigger when we let it sit there for a minute, instead of immediately burying it under worry about what comes next.
How often do you diminish your own small victories before fully experiencing them?
What Keeps Your Light Burning
We’re all collecting these moments—the ones that whisper “we’ve got this” when doubt creeps in. The bank account that makes us feel like failures, the physical limitations that weren’t there a decade ago, the dreams that didn’t work out the way we pictured—these don’t erase the value of today’s small triumphs.
A meaningful conversation. A new skill practiced. A teammate supported. A garden tended. A prayer that resonates. A student who trusts you with their grief. These are enough.
Not because we’ve given up on bigger goals, but because we’ve learned something about where actual satisfaction lives: in the present moment, fully experienced, without qualification or diminishment.
Gratitude becomes the bridge between small wins and genuine contentment. Not that fake ‘everything’s awesome’ stuff that pretends problems don’t exist, but real appreciation for what’s actually working, what’s actually good, what actually brightened up a regular day.
What lifts you up when doubt about your impact creeps in?
The Quiet Buildup
We’re not chasing youth or pretending limitations don’t exist. We’re showing up for today—flaws, small victories, and everything in between.
Small wins add up. The daily Duolingo session becomes 500+ days of consistency. The regular cycle to work becomes reliable transportation and unexpected fitness. The willingness to show up for students becomes trusted relationships where real conversations happen.
None of this looks impressive on paper. All of it makes life feel meaningful while you’re actually living it.
What small wins are you celebrating these days? Not necessarily the impressive achievements, but the quiet triumphs that remind you you’re still vibrant, still contributing, still in the game?
Share your thoughts below. I respond to every comment, and your experience often helps others more than mine does.
