The Quiet Longing for Renewal
They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but what about a fresh coat?
Nearing my late 50s, I’ve been mulling over something I rarely admit aloud: I secretly want a makeover. Not the frenzied world’s version—new nose, new hair, “new me.” Nothing that dramatic. Just something to shake the dust off these familiar shoulders that have carried life’s weight for five-plus decades.
The Mirror of Professional Interactions
It might help with work, where about 90% of my customers are women.
When you’re young, they smile easily. As age creeps in, I notice it’s more like they try to smile—I see that shift in their eyes every single day. Perhaps a fresher appearance might lift their spirits even more than my own!
Finding Balance Between Change and Authenticity
Evolution has always been part of my journey—ditched the flashy phone, cut the schedule clutter—discovering that simpler truly is better. Still, there’s this persistent itch: a sharper look, a cleaner stride through life’s daily pathways.
I’m not chasing youth or applause; to each their own path and pace. But am I overthinking this?
How much do we reshape ourselves to feel steady without losing our authentic spirit? I just want to walk through the world with a bit more confidence, a touch more pride in the person I present.
A Reality Check: The iPad Mirror
May 27, 2025 Update
Today I went to a company to teach English for an hour. After twenty years, this should be second nature. Nowadays, I usually work at the same small English schools and don’t volunteer to visit outside companies. Having transitioned to farming over the past 4 or 5 years, my nature has slipped into a more casual and less formal style, so company life—shirts and ties and all—tends to be something I remember from my past rather than my routine now.
As we get older, I do believe it’s better to mellow with age. However, perhaps there should be limits.
Today brought an abrupt reminder about how I present myself. In the nice conference room set aside for the lesson was the usual iPad on the desk facing the teacher and whiteboard for occasional students who join from home. I usually prefer to stand in the classroom, especially when visiting a company—keeping on my toes helps to keep me on my toes, so to speak.
Today, they had placed the table in a different position along with the whiteboard and asked me to sit with them at the table. No big deal, obviously. However, when I saw myself on that iPad, I was not happy. Who is this old guy with such a young mind and dreams? Is he insane to still feel so different from his external appearance?
Truth be told, I tried not to look at the iPad (no one tuned in from home today) and I tried to keep smiling at the students’ conversations and not be distracted by the stranger I seemed to be in front of them! This is no big deal in the grand scale of things, but I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in feeling disappointed with the visual reality of my exterior.
One of the great things about farming is that you can hide in nature and forget about age and especially appearance. But today that iPad—in the nice, well-lit room compared to my bathroom at home—reminded me of the old guy I have become, and not much of a makeover would really make a great deal of difference.
I should make an effort to buy some new clothes. I used to ask for my wife’s opinion on those sorts of things, so even though I can shop by myself, I’ve tended to not bother so much the past year or so. A trip to the barber more frequently could be a good idea, too!
Perspective at the Railway Crossing
On my way home, I was waiting at a railway crossing and noticed an old gentleman on the other side. This quickly reminded me to snap out of my mood—of course we all age, and that’s part of what we signed up for, I suppose.
The mirror doesn’t lie, but neither does the heart that still feels young inside this aging exterior. Perhaps the makeover I’m seeking isn’t just about appearance—it’s about finding peace with the person I see reflected back at me, iPad screens and all.
What do you think when the mirror shows you something you wish you hadn’t noticed? How do you reconcile with who you’ve always been and who you might become? Does reality catch you off guard?
Share your thoughts below. I respond to every comment, and your experience often helps others more than mine does.
