The Question That Won’t Let Go
I’ve spent thousands of hours at this computer over the years. Four different blogs. Countless posts. Endless tweaking and optimizing. I’ve shared my passion for technology, compiled smartphone ROM lists that actually helped people, switched domains thinking maybe that was the missing piece.
I’ve enjoyed it—the late nights writing, the satisfaction of helping someone find the right software, the hope that maybe this post would connect with someone. But here’s what puzzles me: despite all that time and genuine desire to help, something feels blocked. Like there’s an invisible barrier I can’t identify.
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And honestly? I’d be thrilled with just one real comment. One person saying “this helped me” or “I understand.” That simple acknowledgment that you’re not just shouting into the void.
I’m 57 years old and there are some things I’ve never done. I’ve never bought a new vehicle. Not a car, not a motorcycle—nothing bigger than a fridge or washing machine. The bigger stuff has stayed out of reach. My younger self would never believe that. And it’s not like I haven’t been working—teaching, farming, blogging, showing up. The effort is real. The hours are there.
So what’s missing?
Have you ever felt like you’re working hard with little to show for it, and you can’t figure out why?
When Someone Else’s Rock Bottom Makes You Think
I recently watched a video by a guy named Kyle Mechlinski that stopped me cold. He described his rock bottom moment—living in a one-bedroom apartment with mold, sleeping on floors, bills stacking up. Despite doing everything he knew to take care of his family, he felt like the world was caving in.
In his breakdown, throwing furniture and crying while his children watched, he told God: “I’ve been doing everything I can. Why is it still not enough?”
That’s when something shifted for him. He felt God saying: “You’re trying to generate abundance without me. You want results without connection to the source.”
Kyle thought he was spending enough time with God, but he wasn’t spending quality time. He was running on his own power instead of drawing from something larger. And he realized: “I don’t have the power to create sustainable wealth without the spirit of God.”
That hit me hard. Because I’ve had spiritual experiences—plenty of them. Moments of connection, things I can’t explain. I believe everything is spiritual in the background somehow, that faith could be the key to things we don’t understand.
But I haven’t figured out how to translate that into actually experiencing physical abundance. And maybe that’s the whole question.
Is it possible to be spiritually aware but still missing the connection that actually changes your circumstances?
The Labor in Vain Problem
Kyle talked about a scripture that says “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” That phrase—labor in vain—kept circling in my head.
Four blogs. Years of effort. Domain switches. New strategies. What if I’ve been laboring in vain because I’ve been trying to build without actually involving God in the building?
I’m not saying I ignored God completely. I’ve prayed in simple ways. I’ve had faith. But Kyle’s point was more specific: Was I asking God to bless what I’d already decided to do? Or was I actually asking what He wanted me to build?
There’s a big difference there. One is independence dressed up with a prayer at the end. The other is surrender from the beginning.
And here’s the uncomfortable part: I like feeling independent. “I got this. I’ll figure it out.” But what if that very independence is what’s blocking the flow?
Kyle said something that stung: “God resists the proud, and pride often disguises itself as independence.”
Have you ever wondered if your self-sufficiency is actually what’s keeping you stuck?
A Different Kind of Blog
This blog feels different to me than the previous ones. Instead of sharing technical tips or smartphone ROMs, I’m trying to invite honest dialogue about life’s real challenges—aging, purpose, loss, finding meaning in transitions.
Maybe that difference comes from a slightly different foundation, even if I didn’t fully recognize it at the time. The other blogs were about helping people solve problems and enjoy hobbies. This one is about… I don’t know, maybe connecting with people who are wrestling with the same questions I am.
But Kyle’s message makes me wonder: What if even this endeavor—which feels more authentic to me than anything I’ve done before—still needs to be surrendered completely? What if asking God what He wants me to write would transform not just the results, but the entire purpose?
Have you ever felt like you were finally doing something that matters, but still wondered if you’re missing a key ingredient?
The Foundation Question
Here’s what Kyle’s message made me wrestle with: What if success—sustainable, peaceful success—has a spiritual foundation I’ve been ignoring?
Not just “work hard and God will bless it.” Not “think positive thoughts.” But actually building with God instead of asking Him to rubber-stamp what I’m already doing.
There’s a verse that says God gives us the power to produce wealth. Not just the opportunity or circumstances—the actual power. That settles a lot of arguments about self-made success. You can try all you want, but if God doesn’t breathe on it, it won’t multiply with real meaning.
Again, I’ve experienced spiritual things I can’t explain. I believe there’s more going on than what we see. But I haven’t figured out how to connect that belief to actually experiencing financial abundance in my daily life.
Maybe that’s because I’ve been treating spiritual life and practical life as separate things. Pray without listening in the morning, then go build your thing on your own steam the rest of the day.
What if they’re supposed to be integrated? What if every decision, every work session, every blog post is supposed to flow from that connection instead of being blessed after the fact?
When did you last ask God what He wants you to do before you decided what you’re going to do?
The Pattern I Keep Repeating
Here’s what gets me: I’ve had good jobs. I’ve taught English in Japan for years. I’ve been loyal, shown up, done good work. But I’m still paycheck-to-paycheck. Still can’t afford that new motorcycle I dream about. Still living in the same modest apartment. I’ve spent years chasing dreams instead of chasing money, choosing meaningful work over higher-paying jobs. And I don’t regret those choices—but I do wonder if there’s a spiritual component I’ve been missing that would let me have both.
I’m not complaining—I’m genuinely grateful for what I have. But I do wonder: Am I worthy of experiencing more? Skillful enough to sustain it? Or is there something blocking me that I can’t see?
Kyle talked about how poverty can be a spirit, a generational pattern that keeps repeating no matter how much you learn or how hard you work. Not because you’re lazy or uneducated, but because there’s something spiritual blocking the flow.
That resonates. Because it’s not like I haven’t tried. It’s not like I’m sitting around doing nothing. But I keep defaulting back to the same financial reality, the same sense of “almost but not quite,” the same feeling that I’m working hard without sustainable fruit.
What if the real fight isn’t with my bank account? What if it’s with invisible beliefs in my spirit about what I deserve, what’s possible for people like me, what I’m capable of sustaining?
If that’s true, then no amount of new strategies will fix it. I’d need something more fundamental to shift.
Do you ever feel like you’re repeating the same patterns no matter what you try?
What Would Actually Change?
So here’s what I’m wrestling with: If Kyle’s right—if success genuinely requires spiritual foundation, not just spiritual decoration—what would actually change in how I approach my days?
Maybe it would mean:
- Starting my mornings in the Bible before touching the computer (I use the YouVersion app, but maybe I need an actual Bible)
- Actually asking God what He wants me to write instead of writing what I think will work
- Building from His presence instead of my pressure
- Letting go of the performance anxiety and operating from rest
The hard part is that requires trust. It requires believing that time spent connecting with God isn’t time wasted that could be spent “actually working.”
Kyle said something that stuck with me: “It’s not about doing more for God. It’s about being more with God. You get more done when you operate from His power, not your pressure.”
I’ve spent thousands of hours operating from my own pressure. And I don’t have much to show for it in terms of actual abundance. And now I’m concerned that I’m just wandering.
So maybe it’s time to try the other way. Not as a formula—”do this and get that”—but as genuine surrender. Asking God to build it through me instead of asking Him to bless what I’m building on my own.
What If I’ve Been Missing the Most Important Thing?
I don’t know if this resonates with you. Maybe you’re not religious. Maybe the whole “spiritual foundation for success” idea feels foreign or uncomfortable. Maybe the word God doesn’t sit right with you.
But if you’ve been grinding with little fruit, working hard with little growth, doing everything “right” and still hitting invisible walls—maybe the missing piece isn’t another tactic.
Maybe it’s connection to the source of actual power.
Kyle’s rock bottom breakthrough came when he stopped trying to generate results on his own and started building with God. Not asking for blessings on his plans, but asking what God’s plans were in the first place.
For me, with all my spiritual experiences but lack of physical abundance, maybe that’s what I’ve been missing. Not more faith in general—but specific, daily surrender of what I’m actually building.
Those thousands of hours at this computer weren’t wasted. Maybe they were preparation for building something truly meaningful—this time with the right foundation.
Have you ever wondered if the thing you’re missing isn’t information but connection?
The Honest Invitation
I’m not writing this as someone who’s figured it out. I’m writing as someone who’s wrestling with Kyle’s message and wondering if he’s onto something I’ve been missing.
What if sustainable success requires more than strategy? What if it requires surrender?
What if those of us who believe everything is spiritual in the background need to bring that belief into the foreground of how we actually work?
I don’t have the answer yet. But I’m curious enough to try. To spend real time connecting with God before deciding what to build. To ask what He wants instead of assuming I already know.
Maybe you’re in a similar place—spiritually aware but practically stuck. Believing there’s more but not experiencing it in your daily life.
If that’s you, maybe Kyle’s message is worth sitting with: “You can’t generate sustainable abundance without God. You want kingdom results without kingdom connection.”
What would you build if you knew God was building it through you?
This post was inspired by Kyle Mechlinski’s video about spiritual foundations for success. You can find more on Kyle Mechlinski’s YouTube channel. His vulnerable sharing about rock bottom leading to breakthrough is worth experiencing in his own words.
What’s your experience? Have you felt blocked despite genuine effort? Do you think success has a spiritual component we often ignore? I wonder whether others are wrestling with this same question.
